Our Song
by SenecaNya
Summary: Following the events of Megamix Capybara, Suguru is struggling with his emotions after what happened in the studio. He feels upset, dirty and used and doesnt know what to do. How will he be able to work things out with Hiro after all that? HxS Ch2 M


Full summary: Immediately following the events of Gravitation Megamix Capybara. This all came from a quick daydream I had after reading it. It's not mandatory to read Capybara in order to follow along with this fic, just know that in Capybara, Hiro and Suguru ended up watching (by accident, they just ran into them...and Shu and Yuki weren't really doing a very good job in hiding themselves) Shuichi and Yuki going at it in a recording studio. Hiro and Suguru started doing it right outside of the recording booth watching the two. The whole time though, Hiros mind was on Shuichi and Yuki, watching them and telling Suguru to do things just like them. It gave me an impression that Hiro was just using Suguru to get off as its better then doing it yourself. That feeling is the inspiration for this fic.

Notes: I've never written a fic before and am not a writer either, I just day dream a lot and for once felt like I wanted to get it out. Sorry if the characters are out of character. Suguru isn't the shy type, but for the sake of this fic he's going to have to be a little bit. At least in this first chapter.

Disclaimer: I dont own any of these characters, just my imagination that makes them do things.

Beginning:

* * *

Suguru came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hands drying his hair. Hiro had brought Suguru back to his apartment as Suguru had fainted after their 'acts' in the studio. Hiro was sitting on the couch in the living room and he looked over at Suguru who stood in the hallway continuing to dry himself off.

Suguru just stood there, not moving from his spot. He looked at the ground with a blush on his face, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact with Hiro at all costs.

Hiro spoke up seeing as Suguru wasn't saying anything.  
"Why are you still standing there? You should properly dry off and get dressed or you'll catch a cold."

Suguru sheepishly looked up at Hiro then and opened his mouth to speak. In a very small voice he thanked Hiro.  
"Thank you for bringing me here and allowing me to use your shower..."  
Still though, Suguru had yet to move and he returned to looking bashfully at the hard wood floor underneath his feet that was now slightly wet from him dripping water.

Hiro, who was dressed in pajama bottoms and an open flannel shirt looked at Suguru, sensing he had something more to say.

"Hey, what's on your mind?"

Hiro was genuinely concerned, but the tone of his voice seemed to Suguru as if Hiro had completely forgotten about what had happened only hours ago in the basement of N-G. This aggravated and upset him enormously. With only a seconds hesitation Suguru spoke, still in a small, quiet voice;

"Why did you do it?"

"Did what?" Hiro replied, honestly sounding like he didn't know, which pissed Suguru off to no end.  
He quickly looked up at Hiro with the angriest look on his face, and in a much, much louder voice said;

"Why did you have sex with me?! Why me?? You clearly were only getting off watching Shindo-san being screwed by Yuki-san! You completely used me for your own convenience! Your excitement had absolutely nothing to do with me!! Why?!"

Hiro was taken aback by this sudden outburst. He stood from where he once sat on the couch and attempted to walk over to Suguru, but after looking at the boys expression, he stopped in his tracks immediately.

Suguru was glaring daggers at Hiro. His eyes were full of rage and were beginning to tear up as well. Suguru felt horrible; he felt used and dirty. He had been a virgin up till the events at the studio but honestly did not mind having Hiro take him. The thing that bothered him the most was Hiros point of view on the whole thing. To Suguru, he had honestly tried to please the other man. Sure at first he didn't want to do it and protested, but it didn't take him too much longer to really get into it. On the other hand, Hiro was simply just getting off watching others having sex and simply used Sugurus body instead of his own hand as that was a more satisfying solution. He was truly upset about this whole ordeal.

Suguru was fuming and on the verge of bawling, still standing almost naked in the hallway.  
Hiro sighed and looked at Suguru apologetically.

"Suguru, I understand how your feeling. Your confused and scared and obviously very very upset about all this, but believe me, I'm sure your misunderstanding something."

Suguru fired back.  
"What am I misunderstanding? That you used me to get off? That you were playing with me as if I were a life size sex toy?!"

Hiros expression changed after hearing Suguru say that. He eyes turned from apologetic, to truly upset and worried, but Suguru didn't see this change as he looked back at the floor, gripping his towel tightly in anger at his side.

"Suguru, please listen to me." Hiro said with a tint of desperation in his voice.  
Suguru shook his head furiously in a defiant manner. He refused to look at Hiro and resumed glaring at the floor.  
"Suguru," Hiro continued, "I understand based on the situation and time of the moment that it may have seemed like I was using you, but believe me, I'm not that kind of person. I thought you would have known that."

Suguru, in his mind, thought exactly that.  
'That's why I'm so confused! I never would have imagined Hiro being the kind of guy to take advantage of someone just for the moment.'

Hiro continued since Suguru stayed quiet.  
"Suguru, if I was alone there, or if anyone aside from you were there with me, I wouldn't have even stayed. I would have walked away and forgotten about it before I got excited."  
Suguru didn't respond, he continued to stare at the floor but he made no motion of stopping Hiro, so he continued speaking.  
"It was because you were there that I did it."

Hiro explained that he thought that moment would be his last chance to get to Suguru, to show him how he felt.  
"I feel horrible now for doing such a thing to you, especially since it was so sudden and rough. I understand if you hate me now, I even hate myself for what I did. But I do have feelings for you. I know this is so sudden to say but I cant hold it back any longer; I've liked you for a very long time now, it's just that I've never been able to find the right time and place to tell you. I was so desperate then, that when we ended up running into Shuichi and Yuki, I thought it was my last chance to do anything."  
He apologized profusely.  
"It was wrong of me to do such a thing to you. I'm so sorry Suguru; I was wrong, but you are too, so very very wrong. My excitement didn't come from just watching Shuichi and Yuki going at it, I got so excited because you were there with me. My excitement had absolutely everything to do with you."  
Hiro finished with a small, reassuring smile on his face, hoping Suguru would look up at him and understand.

For once in his life Suguru had nothing sarcastic to throw back at him.

After hearing all that, the tears started to fall and Sugurus body began to shake. He slowly shook his head back and forth, unable to believe it.  
"Please believe me." Hiro said, desperate reaching his arms out to the smaller boy.  
"I know you probably don't trust me anymore, but I am speaking only the truth when I say 'I love you'."

After a moment of silence, aside from Sugurus crying, Hiro stepped closer to the boy. As he didn't protest, Hiro wrapped his arms around the crying Suguru and held him tight.

At this, Suguru fell apart. He lost the strength in his legs and fell to the floor, bringing Hiro down with him. He bawled and bawled, not knowing what to say or do. He was so shocked by this sudden news and didn't know how to take it, so he just buried his head into Hiros chest and cried.  
All the while, Hiro held him tightly, rubbing his back, and slowly rocking him back and forth.

They stayed this way for a few long minutes until Suguru finally caught enough breath to speak clearly.  
"Do you really mean it?" He asks in a weak, hopeful voice.

"I do" was Hiros only reply.

It was enough for Suguru and he finally looked up at the older man. He was unable to say anything more though.

"What about you?" Hiro asked in teasing yet genuinely curious voice.  
Suguru looked down again. He stayed quiet for a moment, thinking hard on exactly how he felt. He experienced a mix of so many strong emotions in just the past few hours, he had become so confused. He didn't know what he felt anymore. He was stressed and tired and confused and just wanted to sleep.

"Suguru?" Hiro questioned as he picked up on a long, deep sigh from the boy.

"I don't know what I'm feeling anymore." Suguru began, sounding exasperated.  
"I'm so confused. There are too many thoughts and emotions running through me, I can't sort them out."

"It's ok, I understand. After all I've put you through... I'm sorry" Hiro hung his head low, resting it on Sugurus slim shoulder.  
"But there is one emotion that I know is real. Just one that I know I can trust in." The boy said with a genuine smile on his face.

Hiro looked up at Sugurus face with a hopeful expression, his eyes begged to know.

"And that feeling is, that when we were doing it, I started to..." He hesitated for a second, unable to get the words out.  
Hiro sat up straight, looking deeply into Sugurus eyes which were now focused on the floor again, but this time for a completely different reason; a much better reason.  
"During that time, I felt something growing in me that I never felt before. Aside from the physical feelings, there was a strong emotion I felt and until now I didn't realize what it meant."

Hiro was about to crack with anticipation! "What did it mean?" he asked eagerly.

Suguru finally looked into Hiros eyes and gives him a good, long look.  
"I've fallen in love with you, too."

* * *

Sorry for the cliched ending line, but I couldn't help it. I hate cliches, but it fit perfectly, so I kept it.

Following this chapter will be an M rated chapter!  
Yes, chapter two will be nothing but smut. No plot, no story line, no deeper meaning aside from pure smutty smutness.  
So for that reason, you can easily skip it and consider this a one-shot, but if you do want to read smut, go ahead a enjoy =D

See you then!! =D


End file.
